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4 Tips to Raising a Healthy Child As a Co-Parent If You Have Asperger’s/Autism

How to be a Successful Co-Parent If You Have Asperger’s/Autism Even though, the majority of couples I’ve worked with as a couples counselor where the husband or wife has Asperger’s Syndrome or high-functioning autism,  a handful of these couple through the years have considered and moved forward with divorce proceedings. Divorcing is never easy, and it can be even more challenging with a spouse with Asperger’s. And it’s all the more challenging when the couple have children, no matter their ages. That said, I’m currently working with a wonderful father who has Asperger’s, officially diagnosed and he’s been doing a wonderful job navigation the co-parenting situation… I know this is true, because his soon-to-be-ex-wife often sends me updates via email where she expresses gratitude for my work with him. Although, I’d like to take the credit, I know that it is his own hard work that is paying off. He’s also very open to my suggestions and solutions even when I challenge him and call him out on some of his behavior. While both co-parents will face a multitude of challenges, this post is specifically for parents who themselves are on the autism spectrum or identify as having Asperger’s Syndrome. Based on my work with fathers and mothers going through divorce, and also Tim Backes from CustodyXChange, here are 4 Tips to Raising a Healthy Child As a Co-Parent If You Have Asperger’s/Autism: 1. Request a concrete and structured co-parenting schedule. Children need support. From the minute they are born they are rapidly growing up and going through all sorts of biological changes. Boys need the blind compassion of... read more

What To Do When Your Partner Has Asperger’s Syndrome (Now ASD)

Asperger’s Syndrome affects many successful adults in the IT, science, engineering, technology, finance, and even medical professions. But while their IQs are higher, their EQs are low. Their brains are uniquely configured to work with machines, data, facts and figures; however, they struggle to express their emotions or understand the feelings and needs of another person.

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Quotable Quotes from Marriage & Lasting Relationships with Asperger’s Syndrome! Part 2

Guest post by Rutherford G (pseudonym)

Hi everyone! As you know, I am a person with Asperger’s, and this second part of my blog is a continuation of my favorite parts of Eva’s book. Sometimes being on the spectrum lends itself to having a difficult time, due to a plethora of reasons. The following excerpts are pieces of information that I have found particularly helpful, as they cover a wide variety of scenarios that can be difficult in a neurodiverse relationship. I hope you find them helpful as well!

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger’s Syndrome and my reflections on it!

Managing Anxiety, Depression, Anger, OCD, and ADHD:
A different condition can diagnose one’s ASD. Be aware of what diagnoses may come with ASD, and when exploring them, consider ASD as the underlying condition. I was fortunate to have my ASD diagnosis early in life, but lots of people go many years (sometimes most of their lives) without a diagnosis of their ASD, despite receiving diagnoses of their other conditions that came with ASD.

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Quotable Quotes from Marriage & Lasting Relationships with Asperger’s Syndrome! Part 1

Guest post by Rutherford G (pseudonym)

Hi everyone! I’ve had Asperger’s since I was diagnosed at 8-years-old! I’m a young adult now and am taking on the world independently! As the case is with anyone doing that for the first time, it’s been rather hard, and without the consistent coaching I’ve gotten for my whole life, sometimes things get more difficult than I could have ever expected.

Part of having Asperger’s is struggling with interpersonal relationships, and I am no exception. Eva’s book has reinstated some of the support I’ve been familiar with, and I could not be more grateful. I’m able to build relationships in ways I’ve only seen neurotypical people do with (relative) ease because of the lessons taught in each chapter! I highly recommend reading this if you have ASD or know anyone with ASD; we all can learn a thing or two about building relationships between NS and ASD people, and this book is a wonderful way to do that.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger’s Syndrome and my reflections on it!

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Women with Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism Spectrum)

There’s research that indicates that girls and women with Asperger’s/autism learn social skills differently from men. Their Asperger’s or ASD might be harder to detect because they may mimic their non-ASD peers more successfully than men with AS can. Women also tend not to fit the geek-Asperger’s stereotype as much. Highly intelligent but somewhat quirky women may have more socially acceptable interests than men with AS, including animals, astrology, poetry, or even fashion. Also, clinicians aren’t trained or experienced in diagnosing AS in individuals that don’t appear stereotypically or obviously “Aspie.” In particular, individuals (men as well as women) who are highly accomplished and/or married and/or employed often don’t always receive the diagnosis.

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Podcast Interview: Your Questions Answered! Asperger’s in Marriage

Three of you in neurodiverse relationships where one or both partners have diagnosed or undiagnosed Asperger’s or Autism Spectrum Difference (ASD) in the Thrive with Aspergers audience asked questions about Aspergers and marriage.

You’ll Learn:
The Why behind defensiveness in many Aspergers/NS (non spectrum) relationships
The concept of emotional bandwidth, and how to expand tolerance to talk about emotions.
How positive psychology can help both you and your partner appreciate each other and life more fully
How to lower anxiety about communication so that you can listen to each other more effectively.

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Podcast Interview: Listen to Eva Speak About Asperger Relationships!

This is a guest post by Steve Borgman, psychotherapist, blogger, autism specialist, and parent of a child with autism. This is what Steve says about his interview with me, in this episode, you’ll learn:
Eva’s background as a graphic designer, and how she ended up working with couples and specializing in Aspergers.
Her experience as a disability counselor at University of Massachusetts, Lowell, and the value of reviewing hundreds of neuropsychological profiles while there.
Why she enjoys working so much with neurodiverse individuals and couples
How Eva solves a challenge I’ve had for years: what term to use other than “neurotypical”. She suggests the term non-autistic or non-Aspergers. As she points out, what is neurotypical? Many of the couples she sees, the non-AS partner may be diagnosed with another condition, like depression, or ADD, or a learning difference.

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5 Tips on Getting Your Aspie Husband to Talk More

I recently received the following query from a non-spectrum or neurotypical (NT) wife of a man with Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder).

Question: I would love to understand why an aspie can be social, lively, humorous and talkative in a group, but it all goes away within the walls of home. My husband is very involved in martial arts. It is his special interest, he runs classes, and his Facebook has many posts. At home he is more uptight, silent and rarely begins conversation. I pay attention to his love language I must agree love and commitment is solid. How do you have a conversation about this?

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Working with Asperger Couples Online

An ASD-specific couples counselor who is experienced with relationships where one partner has diagnosed or suspected Asperger’s/autism and the other is neurotypical or non-spectrum (NS) can provide both partners with information about ASD, help them understand ASD traits, each other’s perspectives, create a safe space where both partners can speak honestly, help the partners create and implement strategies tailored to ASD, and provide accountability, motivation, and support to move the couple in a positive direction.

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Asperger Syndrome (ASD) A Difference Not a Disorder

ASD is largely invisible. It’s difficult to tell if someone has this neurological difference from their outward appearance. People with ASD have deficits in mainly three areas: interpersonal communication, relationships, social imagination (What is asperger, n.d.). The communication-social-emotional difficulties in that characterize ASD are also the very skills that are important to make long-term marriages and relationships work. It’s easy to see how having ASD can make for challenging relationships.

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